Last night I watched Derek DelGaudio’s “In & Of Itself”. (Thank you, Melanie, for the recommendation! You’re right, I DID find it interesting!) I’m not going to tell you what it is about, in fact, please don’t even watch the preview. Go to Hulu and press play, you’ll thank me later. The element I will discuss is that of identity, particularly in regards to defining our own. I am (blank). I’ve talked about it in my blog several times before…
…plus it is peppered into multiple other posts throughout. Clearly identity, and perceptions of identity, are interesting to me – it is a driving force for me writing this blog in the first place. I have been misunderstood on many levels in life so this blog creates the space to clarify on my own terms – for you, the reader, and for me.
I’m not just defined by what you see, I’m also defined by all the things you will never see. We all are.
– Derek Delgaudio, “In & Of Itself”
I agree 100%, and I’ll take that idea further. We are also defined by our understanding and relationships with all that we see. We each have different experiences and histories with everything, so those experiences color our understanding and perception of what we see.
Example
My first experiences with dogs as a child were terrifying. The next door neighbor when I was four years old had a German Shepherd that would chase us as we ran from the back door to the Sesame Street swing set. My siblings and I would quietly peek out the sliding door to look for the dog, then if the coast was clear make a mad dash for the slide – safety awaited at the top. We almost always missed seeing the dog, so he chased and we ran as if for our lives, screaming bloody murder the entire time.
T E R R I F Y I N G!!
Therefore, my foundational understanding and perception of dogs was negative.
Someone else’s first experiences with dogs (maybe yours) included soft, sweet-smelling Golden puppies.
Surely a positive experience that created a completely different foundation than mine. From that point forward, for both of us, “dog” carried completely different feelings, coloring our interpretations of everything “dog”. All based on our own experiences and perceptions.
Does this mean identity is an illusion?
Is it possible to separate out all of our experiences with a thing and have it simply be the thing it is? Can “dog” be only “dog”?
I am (blank).
How would you fill in the (blank)? What identity do you want for yourself? What identity do you want for the world to see you as? Who? What? And why?
What do people see versus what they don’t see? What do you feel defines you that only you see? Do you want those things to be seen by others? Does it even matter what others see us as? Isn’t it most important to define ourselves for ourselves?
In theory these are beautiful questions and work in an ideal world. We could remove the (blank) and simply state…
However, in our age of racism, mistaken identities, prejudices, etc. we do have to push to help others see us for who we are. We have to fill in the (blank) in some way.
Illusion or not, identity is yours to define.
Write your story as you want it written. Speak it, sing it, paint it, dance it, literally write it. Then share it as widely as feels right. Find the forum that gives you space to explore and express, and an audience interested in understanding, receiving, and accepting.
I AM (BLANK).
What do you choose to fill the (blank) with? My answer? I am ME!
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David Tyler Martin
I think for me my journey has been one to first find me. Early on for me was hard. I had many surgeries on my eye, and kids were hard on me. That was a super power for me. It made me make myself my best friend first and set me on a path that I’m most proud of. You me you first then you can help others find their true self. This will not be easy, but I think when you realize we are all searching for the same thing. Love. The other aspect of this is we are changing and evolving, so the path of knowing I am is always changing. Embrace the target and that target is unconditional love. I am me, I am husband, I am father and I am happiness. These are the things I want to be. I’ll watch this program tonight!! I might have an update