Whenever I have a chance to talk to another hip patient/potential hip patient I am sure to preface our conversations with the caveat that my experience is mine and theirs will be theirs. I do not give advice on the minutiae, offer any “shoulds” or “shouldn’ts”, and only share the parts of my experience that may hold value for them. I answer questions, of course, but my focus is on helping each person I connect with feel settled in owning their mindset and whatever their unique journey will be, ready to embrace it and navigate it in their own way.
But, How Did YOU Do It?
The questions that are asked are almost always “how did you do it?” types of questions. I am asked how I got through all of the surgeries and recoveries with no pain meds at all, how I did two hardware removals without any anesthesia, how I did bilateral hip scopes, TWICE, and how I recovered so quickly (despite my bizarre detours). These are natural questions to ask but there is much more to it than simply how.
I’m not a mutant or Wonder Woman or anything like that (although Wonder Woman is super badass and one of my idols, and I use Wonder Woman soap – maybe THAT is the key to all of this!), I simply have my own set of tools that work for me. Personality and life experience play a huge part, so I encourage others to tap into their inner self and life for clues on how to handle their own experience. There is no comparing or competing in hipping!
Toolbox
But, let’s dig into my toolbox! It is huge, full, and vital to how I’ve handled myself through all of this. These are tools that I use for every challenge in life in some combination or other, but this is the only life experience where I have used them all. I’m going to break it down one tool at a time.
The Most Critical Tool is…
…mindset. Without a healthy mindset, none of the other tools will be very helpful. This includes overall perspective. So, let’s look at that.
While receiving news that I needed major surgeries and that my body had been like this my whole life was upsetting and paradigm shifting (how did I live like this my whole life and not know??), let’s get real – I wasn’t dying, I didn’t have a deadly disease, my brain was working just fine, and this would be finite.
Yes, it is epic, but I would do the thing, recover, and carry on. And not just carry on, but be BETTER FOR IT! I would get to have a body that is stronger and more stable than I have ever experienced.
What a GIFT! How lucky I am! And I’d be mentally stronger, ready for a whole new level of life.
Gratitude and Opportunity
After getting over the initial WTF shock, I quickly moved into gratitude for the gift of it all. There is opportunity in everything, so I didn’t waste time looking for a way out but rather chose to lean in and find the gifts that were, and still are, waiting for me.
Here are some of my favorite quotes and ideas that have helped me stay focused through all of this:
See things for what they are.
– Ryan Holiday
Do what we can.
Endure and bear what we must.
What blocked the path now is a path.
What once impeded action advances action.
The Obstacle is the Way.
The impediment to action advances action.
– Marcus Aurelius
What stands in the way becomes the way.
If you can’t get out of it, get into it.
– Denis Morton
The best way out is always through.
– Robert Frost
The soul is like a bowl of water, and our impressions are like the ray of light falling upon the water. When the water is troubled, it appears that the light itself is moved too, but it isn’t. So, when a person loses their composure it isn’t their skills and virtues that are troubled, but the spirit in which they exist, and when that spirit calms down so do those things.
– EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 3.3.20–22
This is the winning mindset. When things suck (they will suck) this mindset is what keeps me grounded, objective, and joyful. This is what gives me endurance. This is the key to persistence to persevere, fortitude, and grit. People close to me hear me say these words often – “the obstacle is the way”, “the obstacle is the way and stillness is the key”, and “calm the waters.” Now you know the source.
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