Fast Forward

The purpose of these daily posts since March has been for you to experience the art of the wait with me. The wait of healing, the wait until my next appointment, the wait of dealing with the daily allergy and its effects, the wait until July 21, and then the wait for whatever results come from that visit. There is no fast forward button with this sort of wait.

The purpose has also been to include you in the raw and real feelings that come with healing and recovery, in all its myriad forms, holding nothing back. This has been a tremendous exercise in vulnerability, creativity, and persistence, delivering gifts greater than those given. These gifts come in different forms and are always a delight. And so, one of those gifts has come my way…

SCROLL…

My July 21 appt. has been moved up to tomorrow!

TO-MOR-ROW

As much as I’d like to keep this to myself for fear that the results may be “not ready, go home and grow more bone,” it would be unfair to not include you in the excitement and possibility that comes with this appointment. It would be unfair to pull you along with my story but “protect” you in the name of protecting myself. This is a lesson and reminder to myself to Be Open, Let Others In, Receive, Go Far Together. As I wrote about, gifts require risks. This time the risk is mine but the gifts are for everyone.

I shared my recent successes with my Dr. – ability to run, hiking, mobility and yoga – and reminded him of the increasing intensity, frequency, and type of the allergic reactions to the metal. (I have been protecting you from the gross details of that.) He agreed that it is a good idea to fast forward by two weeks, take a look at a new X-ray now, and hopefully get the ball rolling with setting up next steps – likely a CT scan, leading up to hardware removal.

I am hopeful!

But if things are not ready, then they’re not, and that’s ok. Healing is not linear.

I feel like I did when I was pregnant with my daughter; we waited to find out her sex, so her birth had an extra element of excitement. What will it be, what will it be?!?

Now I’m spinning with the question – How will the bones look, how will the bones look?!? I’ve done all of my work, every single day, the question is – has it been enough?

Cross your fingers, say a prayer, call upon the universe – I’m sending extra love and gratitude to my osteoblasts. Stay tuned for an update, coming Thursday morning. In the meantime, please join me in experiencing the hope and excitement of the 6 month wait for this appointment coming to a fast forwarded end!

6 months of waiting wrapped up in 5.5 months – TOMORROW!

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