Today’s post is Part 2 of our thoughts on Gap Year 2020, this time from a student perspective – my son Lucas. If you haven’t read Part 1, please pause and read it first. These two posts are meant to be paired together. Then come back and read the intelligent, thoughtful words of my word surgeon about his gap year experience, truly an extended intermission.
I gave him the following prompt…
“What do you feel you did well, what could have been better, what lessons did you learn, positive and negative? How do you feel better prepared to go to school because of it? Or less so? Did you give it an intentional purpose of your own? Do you have advice for other students that may be in your shoes?”
And here are his thoughts…
Extended Intermission
Most students fresh out of high school have one of two plans: go straight to college, or spend a year in between doing something along the lines of Peace Corps, a mission trip for their church, or perhaps traveling to exotic destinations. That wasn’t the case for me. I am a graduate of 2020. I didn’t receive a proper graduation, I didn’t receive the last three months of my senior year, and I was forced to abandon my plans for the year moving forward. I was forced to put on the brakes and take a gap year.
I wanted to go to college, I even spent the months before I graduated getting my schedule set up and all my admissions paperwork in. But I didn’t go. Plans changed. Online education became the only option. At the same price, I should add. That didn’t seem fair. It wasn’t fair. I’d already had the final months in high school stolen from me. Alas, I wasn’t going to sign up for that. Part of this little prompt here is asking myself what purpose I gave my unfortunate gap year. And to be honest, I didn’t have one.
Not at first, anyways.
I spent the first few weeks doing pretty much nothing. I figured “oh, this is temporary, in a short time this whole COVID thing will all be over and I can pick up where I left off.”
Needless to say, that didn’t happen. My hopeful hiatus evolved into an extended intermission.
The first leg
I got a job. Not because I needed one, I just wanted to fill my time; give myself something to do. I ended up remaining there for nearly half the year. It was genuinely a decent job. It paid well, I had frequent scheduling with long days, the work wasn’t too hard, and it gave me something to wake up for.
Until it didn’t.
It was a local brewery made up of less than upstanding employees, and when I brought up a concern I had about that with my manager, I was given the metaphorical boot. I wasn’t given my schedule, I was ill-informed, and I was basically pushed out. I quit and did it again.
A second go-around
The very same day, I got another job. This time, I had relevant experience. I had already gone to mechanic’s school, and I had gone to work for Goodyear Tire. A fitting position and one I looked forward to. It felt better and more solidified. Benefits, better pay, growth room, it was even more local than the previous location, and I could really put what I learned to the test.
It didn’t turn out that way.
I was hired as a full-time employee, but I was lucky to make 20 hours a week. My schedule was rigid, but the work wasn’t. Some days I would have genuinely nothing to do but sweep. I must have swept every inch of that shop at least three times over, ceilings included. After a slightly shorter tenure than the previous job, I left, with the intention of taking up on an offer at yet another brewery. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy my time; I did. It tested and taught me in ways I will forever be thankful for. It provided me with an experience that I am glad I signed up for.
Three strikes
So, the new job (feels like I’ve said that a lot…). Big, brand new brewery right along the busiest highway in the state, situated perfectly on a lake just before the entrance to all the ski resorts around. One of the only restaurants in town too, and we made all our own beers. My girlfriend worked there. The general manager had been trying to hire me for months. Good pay, steady hours, and a flexible schedule. Sounds great, doesn’t it?
I hope you’ve caught on by now, because it wasn’t. Mostly.
It was a headache and a half. The pay was nice… when I got paid. The hours were nice… when we had enough staff to ensure I could leave on time. The leadership was nice… just kidding, it wasn’t. Between that time, I moved out from my parent’s place. That put my commute at two hours a day. It became oppressive. It wore down on me more than any other job had. The summer just got worse. It became busier and more chaotic. More staff left. I got promoted to being a manager, which I suppose is really the only silver lining to this story.
Reflections
I stayed very busy.
I found a new community where I felt I truly belonged.
I bought a red sports car, as every teenager should.
I explored new ideas and concepts I normally would have cast off.
I found a new hobby.
I paid my own bills.
I learned the ups and downs of adulting on my own terms.
(Can you tell I like fragmented sentences? My English teachers loved me.)
I felt prepared for it and I didn’t. There was a lot I knew how to do, and a lot more I didn’t. And now as that adventurous year is coming to a close and college looms on the horizon, I ask myself whether I had purpose in everything I did.
In the end, I did. Because I made those choices. It was the first time in my life I found myself the sole person responsible for where I ended up and how I did it. It was a bittersweet taste of freedom. Not every choice had a motivation behind it, but they led me to where I am now, with more experience under my metaphorical belt than I’ve ever had. I honestly feel much better about where I’m going looking back at where I’ve been.
Those experiences since March 6 2020, I will carry them forever, for better or worse. I left home, but in doing so, cast off my family. I worked several different jobs, arguably wasting my time. I made my own choices independent of anyone else, and bore the fruits of my labor.
Yay or nay?
This was a difficult paragraph to write. I’ve rewritten it a dozen times by now, and it still stumps me. I want to recommend the experience that I had because of all it provided me, but at the same time I don’t feel I can in good conscience recommend something I had no choice but to endure. The reason my experiences were overall positive was because I felt it was the only sensible thing to do. Then again, I wouldn’t have forced that kind of discipline on myself if my gap year wasn’t also put on my plate.
A gap year is what you make of it. If you give it purpose, it will reward that. If not, it’s just a heap of shoulda-coulda-wouldas, in my case, an extended intermission.
2020 pushed us all. In a sense, I guess I pushed back.
School requires you to learn about things after the answer has already been decided.
– James Clear
Life requires you to learn about things while the answer is in the process of being decided.
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