The Biggest Lie

Pause for a moment and think about what the biggest lie you’re telling yourself is. About anything. Now, yesterday, ever. Listen to those around you, can you spot the lie there, too? What do you think the lie is?

Google searches produce lists upon lists of Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves, and they all contain a clue. “10 Biggest Lies”, “12 Lies We Tell Ourselves But Shouldn’t”, on and on. Gather them all and then zoom way out. Do you see what the one overarching lie is?

Today I’m flipping what I deem to be the biggest lie we tell ourselves upside down and fully throwing it over a cliff, goodbye forever.

The biggest lie?

The truth?

I’m saying it to you right now, but by the end you’ll own it as your own and turn it into “Yes, I can!”

From time to time I listen to the Battle Ready podcast, hosted by Erwin and Aaron McManus. Erwin is the founder of Mosaic in Los Angeles, and also an author and fashion designer. He has such interesting perspectives and insight, often challenging me to think differently – which I why I choose to listen.

Their latest episode is titled “I Can’t” and explores this lie, The Biggest Lie, in depth. This is a great listen, particularly at the 12:30min mark, a clip from a previous interview with Angela Manuel Davis. Badassery combined with badassery right there! 

The antidote to “I can’t”?

According to Angela – Just TRY! TRY! TRY! TRY!

TRY leads to DO! 

There is an ingredient in your try that will take you to the next level. It’s good not to be good at something. It grows you and it stretches you.

– Angela Manuel Davis

Her passion in delivering this message makes me want to jump up and do anything, EVERYTHING! Yes, I CAN!

Where does “I can’t” even come from?

“I can’t” is a relic of childhood frustration. Little kids say it all the time, all day long, typically when they don’t know how to do something, are met with something new, OR when they don’t want to do something. I think we keep that with us throughout our lives, but we can reprogram ourselves to meet those moments with excitement instead of overwhelm.

“I can’t” turns into “I get to.”

I get to try.

I get to grow.

I get to learn.

I get to expand.

“I can’t” is a childhood relic that has buried our innate instinct called “TRY.”

Let that sink in. TRY is in our nature. CAN’T is a choice.

Try! Do!

Babies don’t Can’t when it comes to learning new skills. They try and fail over and over and over until they master new skills. Walking, talking, every single skill. Try, fail, try, fail, try, grow, learn, expand, master. This is in us all, we simply need to reconnect with it!

Get out your Magic Eraser and wipe that whiny I Can’t-er OFF! BYE!

Goodbye to Can’t, Won’t, Fear, Don’t Want To…

Reconnect with TRY!

What if I had said “I can’t get up” after my surgeries? TRY!

Or if I had continued to linger with “I can’t repair my relationship with my family, it has been way too long.” This wasn’t a Can’t, this was an I Don’t Know How and Where Do I Begin and What if it Doesn’t Work Out – as if living in the Can’t were somehow better than trying and finding out. What a big fat lie I held onto for so long! When I finally realized that and tried, stumbled, tried some more and then some more – it worked. (To unpack that story, start with this post.)

The I Can’t-idote

The next time you catch yourself saying or thinking “I can’t,” stop and ask yourself:

• Is this a true inability?
• Or is this fear?
• Lack of knowledge?
• Lack of desire/interest?
• How do I know until I actually try?

Whatever it is, relabel it accurately, then act on it!

Yes, You Can!

If something is humanly possible, you CAN. Whatever you are met with, another human before you has gone through it. They did it, and so can you.

YES, YOU CAN!

You were born knowing how!

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