Preparation is huge! In everything, but particularly when approaching life changing surgery. I’m a natural preparer, to the nerd degree, interested in objectivity and goal setting to achieve whatever I am aiming for – a race, training program, pregnancy, surgery – I like a well-crafted plan. An ultimate goal broken down into components that are then broken down into clear and executable daily steps.
Education
In a situation like this, in order to put a plan together I need to learn as much as possible about what will be happening to me, what the surgery will be like, the exact structures that will be impacted, what to expect in recovery, the drugs that will be used, rehab progression, etc. The setting of goals always has to start with education.
ASK! ASK! ASK!
Before my first hip surgery I had an appointment with my doctor just to get my specific questions answered. I asked him to demonstrate on a model pelvis what the cuts would be like, show me the screws, list the muscles that are removed/reattached, show me on my body where the incisions would be. I had a list and we went over all of it. This had several purposes.
- I would no longer wonder during the months-long wait for my surgery dates.
- I would be able to visualize exactly what was happening in my body while healing.
- Super important – I could take ownership of what was happening rather than being a passive recipient. He may have done the surgical work, but ultimately I am the owner of the body and the best director of its healing, so understanding the process as much as possible was critical.
How to Wait:
Next was a critical crossroads. I had two months to wait until my first two surgery dates. I could either freak the freak out and waste that time being nervous and fretting, OR make the most of the time by preparing myself mentally and physically, and executing other life goals that fit that timeframe. I chose to own that time, like a BOSS. That time was going to pass anyway, so why not? If I weren’t having surgery I wouldn’t have wasted that time, so why waste it now? I had enough information to set my goals and lay out my clear plan.
Goal:
Prepare mentally and physically to not only endure surgery well but recover as quickly as possible, returning to sport stronger than ever. Gain mental fortitude along the way and keep my focus on the big picture. Remain positive/find positivity every day.
Preparation Tools:
Tool 1 – Move every day
Physically, I wanted to come in as lean and strong as possible. I wasn’t able to do my workouts as hard as I would’ve liked, but I did my very best within my limitations. Strength training, funky running, mobility work. My mental focus with each workout was on how much easier and faster my recovery would be because of it. Each step, each rep, every tiny piece mattered. This physical dedication flowed over into my mental dedication. I made a daily workout plan that took me right up to surgery day. Just like training for a race.
Tool 2 – Meditate every day
Mentally, I wanted to work on settling into a calmer, more staid mind. I’m not a natural meditator, so this always takes work for me. I never found my footing with meditation until my 4th pregnancy, and even then I’d label my success with it as poor.
We did a home birth so I thought it would be interesting to practice hypnobirthing techniques. There was a daily rainbow meditation that I did (mostly fell asleep during) that may or may not have helped, but I did it. Every Single Day for at least the second half of the pregnancy. Despite my results, it set the groundwork as something for me to return to.
For this new surgery adventure, I opted to use the Headspace app, specifically the Pain Management series, a 30-day long course. The techniques were phenomenal for helping me view pain in a different way. I knew that what I was about to experience would be painful so this was empowering. I didn’t yet realize how vital this piece was to my success.
One day I planted a seed by thinking out loud to my naturopath “I wonder if there’s a way I could do these surgeries without any pain meds?” She scoffed and we laughed at the absurdity of the idea, but the idea stayed deep in me and steeped during my daily meditations. I grew to love this time each day, sometimes adding a second session in a day.
Tool 3 – Excellent nutrition and sleep
My other important tools were sleep and nutrition. Do I need to say much here? Eat well, sleep well, function best. Also, I worked with my naturopath to make sure my bloodwork looked good, amping up supplements that would be helpful for healing, and we did a ton of preparatory IVs.
Tool 4 – Manifest my own experience
Finally, and extremely important for cultivating the mindset I was seeking, I stayed off the internet and social media in regards to researching Hip Dysplasia, PAOs, other people’s stories, etc. It is SO tempting with so much time, potential anxiety, nerves, etc. to go down rabbit holes online, innocently seeking to learn more but ending up feeling worse in the end.
Finding a blog or group of other people going through the same thing seems like a GREAT idea, and perhaps in theory it is, but ultimately I wanted to come in and write my own story without adopting the experiences of others.
I learned the importance of this while preparing for my home birth – do not read or listen to other people’s birth stories because it is easy to internalize their experiences and ruminate on them, rather than focusing on manifesting your own unique experience. Having experienced the gamut with births of my own, this was imperative for me and paid off tremendously. So, I decided that if I wanted an online support group after my surgeries, I would seek it out, but for my prep it was important to follow my own path.
A good person dyes events with his own color . . . and turns whatever happens to his own benefit.
– SENECA
Tool 5 – Prepare for recovery
Just as with a race, the recovery afterwards was important to plan, too. This included the easy things like setting up the physical environment at home, buying whatever tools I would need, getting badass crutches that I would enjoy (I love my sticks), reviewing and reworking the family calendar, etc. But, also preparing everyone mentally for the temporary changes.
My youngest was just 2.5 at the time, so helping her understand that mommy wouldn’t be able to help or play in the same way for awhile took some work. We also had to prepare the boys to pitch in more – an expectation they were eager to meet at first, but in time, and with as many repetitions as we’ve had, has gotten old. “Happy to help” devolved into moans and groans, then refusals and fighting, then frustrations for everyone.
Of course, since there is opportunity in everything, this pushed me to up my Mom Game, which has been one of the largest, and most rewarding benefits of all of this. TIP – Lower your expectations and standards, and have a sense of humor! This is an example of my kitchen on a “really clean day”.
The preparation for the first two surgeries was the most important since it was all new to me. Subsequent preps were similar but included some new tools that I’ll share in coming days. My toolbox may have been small when I began, but each tool was powerful. Not only was I able to prepare myself well and feel confident, but it helped calm my family. They were able to mirror my energy and feel settled, too. We got to surgery days ready to go!
I may wish to be free from torture, but if the time comes for me to endure it, I’ll wish to bear it courageously with bravery and honor. Wouldn’t I prefer not to fall into war? But if war does befall me, I’ll wish to carry nobly the wounds, starvation, and other necessities of war. Neither am I so crazy as to desire illness, but if I must suffer illness, I’ll wish to do nothing rash or dishonorable. The point is not to wish for these adversities, but for the virtue that makes adversities bearable.
– SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 67.4
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