The Great Drift

Do you ever come to a point where things are chugging along yet the overarching goal or marker is nebulous? It is defined, as in you are clear on what it is, but the timing and perhaps other details are murky? Everything is good, on the intended trajectory, and long-term goals are in place (hence the trajectory), but there is also a feeling of “now what”? It isn’t the same as a troublesome lost feeling, or worse, Recovery Purgatory, but more like a freeform period of work towards goals without as much structure and definition as you’re used to. This is where I am now, in a phase I’m dubbing The Great Drift.

Why The Great Drift?

My healing is coming along. No doubt. I’m continuing with my daily ultrasound treatments, doing my mobility work, etc. And I know the end will come Some Day.

It is finite, but undefined.

So I do the work and carry on. Will it be another year, two, five? Some Day.

My body transformation is coming along beautifully. My weekly check-ins are on point, I’m doing the work in the kitchen and the gym, yet we have no show plans in place. I’m not in a rush, just noting that we are working towards another Some Day future event. I am enjoying every part of this journey so I actually like the Some Day here. The anticipation is delicious and the longer we wait the better I’ll be.

Drifts

Drifts have direction.

But they lack a destination.

This is how I feel right now. Going in my intended direction but lacking concrete destinations. I’m putting that feeling into my writing – sharing interesting things I’m learning, seeing, doing – yet it is fairly drifty. This is ok and fun! Hopefully entertaining and informative for you?

You only need to know the direction, not the destination. The direction is enough to make the next choice.

– James Clear

The purpose of this blog is to share the steps of recovery from my 11 wild surgeries – physically, mental, all of it. But I’ve long passed the point where there are interesting developments to share directly related to my progress – there’s not much to say but an unknown time ahead in which to wait. It has naturally grown into a creative practice of patience and a personal challenge to never miss a day.

Maybe this gives boundaries and destinations to my drifts.

Here we are, 212 posts in, and 8+ months post-op surgery number 11, with no end in sight. The healing and surgeries will have their Some Day, but the blog will morph into something else and continue on.

Embracing the Drift

I have laser-focused aim and am on my intended trajectory. What comes next will reveal itself in due course. In the meantime, I’m enjoying the great drift and the dance with patience. This is a time free from obsessive intensity and expectation filled with the wish to control, and instead ruled by releasing into the drift.

Drift On!

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