Ask

Ask questions. Raise your hand. Push for answers. Throw away the “n’t”s. Ban complacency and anything resembling “I am not _____ enough.” Today is about courage to ask, to know, to get results – what we all deserve. I’m lit up! Let’s go…

Ask

Are you ever afraid to ask questions? Afraid you’ll stand out? Look stupid/silly?

What’s more important? Knowing what you want to know? Or sitting in the likely false belief that others will mock you?

I think we feel like this naturally as kids in school, but we carry it far too long into adulthood, not wanting to be a bother/look silly/draw attention to ourselves/rock the boat.

Raise Your Hand

I’d love to see a teacher implement a system where points are awarded for raising hands and asking questions. The more the merrier (so long as they are relevant). Encourage kids from the start to ask questions and throw away all thoughts of “what if someone laughs at me.”

Medical Help

I’ve had to push myself over the last 3.5 years to keep asking for help, continually returning to my doctor for more help. 11 surgeries?? That’s a lot of pushing for answers and hand raising, but I’m worth getting this right. He says I’m n of 1 in regard to having so many difficulties, but I can’t help but wonder if there are many others that simply didn’t want to seem like a failure/complainer/whatever and decided to just live with whatever ails them.

DO NOT DO THAT

If something hurts or isn’t right, GO BACK FOR MORE HELP. Do everything in your power to work things out yourself, first, but always go back. You are worth it!

I’ve heard other patients say things like:

“I’m not an athlete so he won’t care as much about me.”

“I’m not one of his favorite patients.”

”What if they don’t believe me?”

“I’m too old, anyway.”

“I’m too _____.”

“What if the imaging doesn’t show anything?”

“I’m not _____ enough.”

Big Fat Baloney

Always Ask

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I had signs of impending preterm labor, but I naively ignored them, not wanting to be a bother to anyone. Surely it was something else and would go away. This is rough, but if I had done the right thing she would be alive today. That’s a heavy price for not asking, pushing, all in the name of trying to be nice.

I’ve made peace with that heavy load. Now I advocate for myself and everyone around me. I express gratitude for those that help me when I truly need it. And I share this lesson as much as possible so others realize that THEY ARE EVERYTHING ENOUGH, absolutely worthy of asking for and receiving help.

“You’re looking for a hand, not a handout. You’re looking for advice. You’re not looking to be exempted. You’re getting your wounds treated so you can get back into the fight. You’re speaking up not for pity or attention but so the same thing doesn’t happen to someone else. You’re not looking to get an unfair advantage. You’re taking advantage of the opportunities and the protections that were designed for precisely the situation you’re in.”

– Ryan Holiday, Courage Is Calling

Are you lit up now, too? Asking, pushing, and raising your hand are not only OK, they are the right thing to do.

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