Be Here Now

Over the past few weeks we have been trying some new activities and experiences with Willa. A few weeks away from turning 6, it is time to expand her options, possibilities, and grow into more Willa-appropriate challenges. Ever a feisty and sassy one, with self-confidence that reaches past the stars, she is also growing into a different sort of self-awareness and thinking patterns that include thinking ahead – normal patterns that emerge at this age. I’m fielding many questions of “what if” that lead us into reminders to be here now.

What If?

She is always so excited by a new opportunity. Gymnastics, roller skating, art, hip hop dance class. This is when she is in herself, with herself, confident, and present. But then, a little while later, that new feeling she is growing into creeps in – fear, doubts, and worry emerge.

“Mom, what if the kids don’t like me? What if they make fun of me? What if I can’t do what they can do? They might call me mean names. I can’t do the splits yet. Maybe I don’t need a class, I can already do ____.”

Be Here Now

You know I love these moments. Yes, the statements and worries break my heart, but, HOT DAMN, these are magical moments to parent in! It is as if time stands still and I get to guide her back to the present moment.

I pull her back to the physical space we are in.

“Willa, is any of that happening right now? Right where you and I are, at this very moment? Describe to me where we are and what you and I are doing right now – and how that all feels.”

“We are in the car, playing the Rainbow Car Game (her favorite), it feels good, I am safe and happy.”

I remind her that none of those thoughts are real. Only this moment is real. The rest are stories she is making up about people and situations she hasn’t even met or experienced yet. And when we get to those new experiences we will be Be Here Now with those, too.

I also ask her if she would ever do or say those things to other kids.

“NO”

When fear is defined, it can be defeated. When downside is articulated, it can be weighed against upside. When the wolves are counted, there are fewer of them. Mountains turn out to be molehills, monsters turn out just to be men.

– Ryan Holiday, Courage is Calling

Connecting the Dots

The more of these Be Here Now moments we are having that result in reality not aligning with the spinning worries, the more she is throwing away worry, fear, and doubt. The more she is pulling herself back to being present and letting the future be what it will. She is also feeling both David and me being right there with her, often experiencing first times right alongside her.

Be Here Now, Together

It is such a gift to get to practice and share this lesson with her. Just as these new feelings and perspectives are emerging in her life, we are there to help her learn to handle and channel them, hold onto her indomitable spirit, and forever be Wonder Willa.

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