Big Tab Two

Big Tab Two – Working through my relationship with my parents, recovering and rebuilding together, and integrating it into this journey.

How does this fit into my hip and pelvis story? Our emotional health is tied to our physical health and vice versa. The mind-body connection. In my case, since my physical body seemed to keep getting stuck stuck stuck I knew I needed to finally address old emotional stuff. It had to be the key. The elephant in the room, that was SITTING ON ME, so obvious.

Physical, Mental, Spiritual

The pelvis is my physical foundation. Mine was dysplastic, malformed, unstable, insufficient, lacking. The pelvis is also the bowl of my soul, my spiritual/mental/emotional foundation. I had old, unresolved issues that I was carrying around, impacting everything whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not. Therefore, my life’s foundation was also dysplastic. In order to fix either, I needed to fix both, at the same time. This would lead me to integration and complete healing. 

I was gifted the physical dysplasia from my parents (since it is congenital) but the rest was a result of a whole lot of messy stuff. I wanted to place blame on them (for YEARS), and what an interesting allegory that would make – “you gifted me a dysplastic body and a dysplastic life foundation”, but (spoiler), that isn’t exactly the truth.

The real story is turning out to be much cooler.

I want to be sensitive to how I share this and details. First and foremost, I love my parents and believe they did the very best job they knew how to do. I don’t have an unkind thought towards either of them at all. In the interest of privacy for all, I won’t be sharing details. Looking back, our issues stem from, and have piled up because of, a culture of not communicating enough, avoiding confrontation, and not seeking first to understand. That caused a huge pileup of stuff that didn’t need to happen – 25 years of rumination and stagnation. But it did happen, so here we are.

For years I believed wholeheartedly that the relationship with my parents was irreconcilable and that I had done everything I possibly could to resolve it.

But not really. I had asked to talk a few times but I hadn’t really pushed it or approached it well.

Time to DO IT!

Last November I decided it was time to really do it. My tools from handling surgeries and recoveries were increasing so why not apply them here? Why not get even more tools? It was time to do some major elephant eating. Big Tab Two, I’m coming for you!

So, I started reading. And listening. And writing. And taking notes. And looking in the mirror really hard. I took my time here – Einstein 55/5. This was about getting it right, not being right, a HUGE key for me. Like, “I should tattoo that on my forehead” key.

Here are some of the books and authors that I spent time with:

Here are the primary podcasts I spent time with:

There are too many episodes to list individually; I dug into their archives for topics and interviews that were pertinent. This is a treasure trove! They are all on Apple podcasts or Spotify.

• Unlocking Us – Brene Brown
• Dare to Lead – Brene Brown
• The Minimalists
• The Science of Happiness

My library of helpful books and podcasts has grown a lot since then but these were the ones that got me ready to do the work I needed to do. It was a time full of epiphanies, treadmill walks where I nearly fell off while listening to podcasts and having lightning bolt moments, a lot of O.M.G. and HOLY SHIRT moments, highlighted text, furrowed brows, tears and tissues, and helpful conversations with those close to me. It was personal development awesomeness. And thanks to the tech detox I had just done, I had the time and mental space to do this work.

Next, I had to apply what I was learning and do the work. Big Tab Two! I was lit up and excited to finally do this, and do it right!

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