My “Yes, And”-er

How do I funnel feelings, chemistry, multi-sensory 3-D life occurring in time down into static words on a page? How do I encapsulate the nuance and timbre of in-person expression and put it into typed text for a reader? This is the task of the writer, but it is especially difficult when trying to write about the one you love. Maybe I need to study the art of writing odes? The words are never enough to encompass everything, yet I will try today.

Having shared everything I have so far, particularly my new goals, I want to give words to my most important person, David. There are so many directions I can choose for writing about him, but today it is in the context of goals and dreams.

Yes, And

When it comes to goals and dreams, he is my “yes, and”-er.

Whenever I’ve had a new idea, interest, or goal and shared it with him, he says “yes”, and then follows it with “and”. “Yes” in support of exploring it, and then “and” to enhance it.

For example, when our daughter was a baby and I wanted to improve my photography skills to better capture her and our entire family, I mentioned that I’d like to upgrade my camera and get a few nicer lenses. I was met with “Yes, and I have family members that are Nikon ambassadors. Let me connect you with them so they can help you pick out the best gear for your goals.” 

Not a “no”.

Not a “yes, but…” 

“Yes, and…”

When I said “hey, let’s run a 6-day stage race across the Rockies together” (neither of us had been running much for several years and we lived in sea-level Los Angeles at the time, so this was lofty) he said “yes, and sign us up with the best coach you can find. Also, let’s move there to train so we are acclimated to the altitude.”

A year later when I said “hey, let’s run an 8-day stage race across the Alps together” he said “yes (omg I’m going to die!), and I’ll book first class plane tickets so we have the comfiest trip, especially on the way home when we are dead tired and need to kick up our swollen legs. Also, I’ll get a new running camera to document the training and event. And, I’ll book the best hotels for each night during the race.”

When our younger son said “I would like to study LEGO building one-on-one with a mentor. Maybe we can find someone for weekly lessons?” he said “yes, and let’s go to the top and connect with a LEGO Masters builder.” Which they did. Now he is getting the best mentoring to support his talent and skills.

Last year on our anniversary trip I told him that I’d like to try bodybuilding, knowing nothing about it. It was a long-time dream for me that was tucked away deeply. I was nearly finished with Every Damn Street and my processing of the end of our time running together, landing on new goals for myself. His immediate reaction?

“YES, AND…” 

We sat together to look at pictures online, learning about the categories, basics of the process. “YES, go do it, and find the best coach so you do it correctly and efficiently. What do we need to add to our home gym? Let’s also find a local gym so you can do your leg workouts properly. I support you and believe in you. And can I be your oil boy, pretty please?”

There was no “but”, no questions of how it would work logistically, no questions of my physical abilities, no words that conveyed lack of trust.

He does not think small and he believes in pursuing dreams and goals and trying out interests. He believes there is value and opportunity in everything we do and that anything worth pursuing is worth doing at the highest level. He believes that we are all worth that. He approaches life from abundance. This isn’t spoiling but rather unconditional love and being all in on supporting those he loves.

“Yes, and” = 100% support and trust.

I am the luckiest woman on earth.

I love you, David. Thank you for always supporting my goals and dreams.

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