Recovery Purgatory and Pause, Reframe, Savor

Pause on the physical tools for a present moment “what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling” post. This pertains to all of the tools, anyway, so it is important to capture this in the moment and also share one of my favorite mental tools. 

Recovery Purgatory

There’s a weird period during post-op recovery that I have dubbed Recovery Purgatory. This is when I’ve mostly recovered from the trauma of the surgery yet the actual healing has a long ways to go. This is the period where I start to workout again, easing my way back in, but some parts aren’t entirely ready yet. It’s an awkward dance where I reacquaint myself with my body, reactivate muscles that have been shut off, discover the new changes from surgery, take inventory, and generally 7th grade dance my way back into things. It is an exciting time for testing things out but also a little dangerous – I always wonder if I’m starting too soon or if I’ll break something, yet I do it anyway, sometimes tiptoeing and sometimes pushing. Results and sensations are all over the place. Some days I feel good, and some days feel like poo.

Bleh

Today I woke up feeling more on the poo end, hence the inspiration to write about Recovery Purgatory. For me, this is a period where I have to be careful not to fall into old self-destructive, and even self-sabotaging habits, which is why I call it purgatory.

Add in to the mix crappy sleep – post-op I don’t sleep well for many weeks. I’m detoxing from the surgery, my body hurts, it is shifting its energy into healing, I don’t have the benefit of mood-boosting neurochemicals from working out, etc. This starting phase doesn’t bring immediate excellent sleep again, so I suppose I have sleep purgatory, too. I have to accept that I will be here for a few weeks and then work my way through it, for the only way out is through.

Mentally, I want to move again! I miss my life balance and feel like it is so close. I know that moving again will help me feel happier which in turn will help my recovery move along better, more smoothly, more efficiently, and more joyfully. An unmoving me is a grouchy me.

Recovery Purgatory allows me to play, tease, push boundaries to find the current limits, taste tiny nibbles of normalcy. Yet, I also see that it will take some time and continued patient effort. It is almost cruel but also a delight, depending on mindset.

Pause, Reframe, Savor

At some point in 2020 I developed a new idea of what PRs are. This came about when my BFF was in her own Recovery Purgatory and in need of a mental shift. Inability to reach her previous Peloton PRs was upsetting her so I came up with a new way of defining what a PR actually is. Hint – it has nothing to do with gold stars.

Any moment in life can be a PR if we want it to be, just toss aside the idea of Personal Records and instead embrace Pause, Reframe, and Savor. Pause and breathe, then reframe whatever it is, and finally savor the new outlook. With this, anything seemingly negative can be flipped into something good/positive/helpful.

In the case of Peloton gold stars:

Pause – After the screen with the gold star closes, do you see it anymore, did anyone else ever see it, did anyone care, do you even remember how many you’ve ever gotten and/or what those actual numbers are? Why do these matter?

Reframe – What are your overarching long-term goals and where do these fit in? What do those gold stars actually mean and what instead would give more meaning to your overall goal? In the big picture, what is one bike ride? What has more gravity that would be a better point of focus?

Savor – Lean into what you’re discovered. This is YOUR story.

In the case of Recovery Purgatory in general, where I am today, this is what I am thinking about, real-time:

Pause – Will this one day of funk ruin my overall plans? Will it set back my recovery if I honor it, or will it set back my recovery if I don’t honor it and push beyond where I should today? Can I be still and make the right choice? This isn’t cause for upset, but rather cause to notice.

Reframe – This is an excellent opportunity to grow into new habits of doing the right things, choosing to be constructive long-term, seeing that the ability to work out at all is a sign of healing, seeing that days where it seems harder are signs of growth and change, a reminder that healing isn’t linear, and recognizing what my current limits are.

Savor – I choose to sink into the delight of this and honor the gift. I’m going to savor a day of calmer movement, and with this new mindset I am off to my home gym to do what is appropriate and I will enjoy every moment of it, funk to fab!

Recovery Purgatory = big picture gift

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