Did you know that we say, on average, over 15,000 words per day? How many of those words are thoughtful, kind, and intentional? How many are reactive, rude, or mindless? We spend over 80% of our days communicating – how much of that time is spent carefully choosing the words we use?
Communication and Relationships
Last week I listened to “On Purpose” with Jay Shetty, episode 268. The topic was focused on communication and relationships. I’ve set it aside to listen to again with David because this one is a winner, one to listen to with those closest to you. For me there were some pointed moments of self-realization, something that is likely true for everyone. Load it up and listen!
How to Have a Good Life
Jay references a 75-year study on happiness done at Harvard by Dr. Robert Waldinger. The simple result of the study?
The good life is built with good relationships.
– Robert Waldinger
Watch his TED talk here…
Jay takes it further and applies it to our relationships…
The number one indicator for a good human life [is] the quality of our relationships. The quality of our relationships is based on the quality of our communication.
– Jay Shetty
Math
Good Communication —> Good Relationships —> Good Life
Clearly, the words we use matters!
Word Time Challenge
We have the ability to track our Screen Time usage and we have the ability to track word count and word use in writing software. What if there were a Words Said tracker that could monitor and show us the words we use? What do you think yours would look like?
When I first thought of that idea last week I was mortified, knowing that mine would be terrible. I’m verbally and overly critical of those closest to me. In fact, when I was probably early middle school age I asked my mom what I should be when I grow up. Her answer? A Critic! (Naturally, I had a lot to say to her about that answer.)
I’m also comfortable freely saying what I think and feel with those closest to me, so niceties and manners go by the wayside. I think this rings true for most people. But, don’t those closest to us deserve the most respect and kindest words?
T.H.I.N.K.
Have you ever seen this poster in schools? I’d like to plaster them all over the place because it is the perfect reminder to pause and meter our words.
Is it True? Always speak the truth, no matter how difficult.
Is it Helpful? Or is it filler, unsolicited advice, self-promoting or motivated by something else?
Is it Inspiring? Or a downer, pointless complaining?
Is it Necessary? Does it really need to be said, or is it attention seeking?
Is it Kind? Kind words create synergy, what a gift!
Word Time Grade
Who knows, maybe I’d get a pleasant surprise, but I’m certain my overall Word Time grade would be an F. Especially during these last 3 years of surgery/recovery cycles when I haven’t been at my most pleasant. My shortcomings fall in the Helpful and Kind categories. Friends and family – I am sorry! It is time to pause and carefully consider the words I use.
What grade would you give yourself? What percent of your words are T.H.I.N.K. words?
The Words We Use Challenge
Put a Word Time meter on yourself. Have it in mind ALL DAY and listen carefully to yourself. Catch yourself in the act of speaking all day and grade yourself as an outsider. What do you think of the words you use? Do they promote good relationships? Do they lead you to the Good Life?
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